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• (646): View more from New York

  If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?

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• (408): View more from California

  I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on

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• (585): View more from New York

  please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you

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• (914): View more from New York

  Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.

  (1-808): View more from Hawaii

  To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.

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• 

  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (616): View more from Michigan

  Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.

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