I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
