Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
COCAINE IS GR8