We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize