Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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