i was born a porn star she said
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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