I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
