Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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