why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
