shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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