So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Never underestimate the power of titties
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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