Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
