Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
