i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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