His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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