Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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