He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Randomize
