You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize