Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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