so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He passed out mid-signature
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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