We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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