Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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