I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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