toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
