I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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