butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
