After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
