I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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