And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
