i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
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all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
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making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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