Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
