I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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