i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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