There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
