he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
