its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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