may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
