After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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