He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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