Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
