apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
i out mim tonsoeep
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
