And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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