Your dad touched me again.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
jump out the window naked night went bad
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
