sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
