he told me I talked like a deaf person
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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