last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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