All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
