The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
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The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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