Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
