I love black thongs
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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