i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
