dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
