You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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