I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
