my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
