she looked like the before picture.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
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I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
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As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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