we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize
