So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?