His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
