We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
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The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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