ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
