He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
