You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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