Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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