Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
