R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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