I'm drive I can fine osifer
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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