is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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